remember, I Love You.

So, i'll try to make this one short, but don't hold your breath.  

Today has been a good day, just hung around, worked, played, the usual. I decided to go to the supermarket to get some of the usual unnecessary goods. i figured i would treat myself. While the teenager, who clearly hated, not only her job, but also the fact that i decided to walk into the store 10 minutes before they were going to close, was ringing me up, she looked up at me and said in a very monotone voice; 

"i have this coupon thing here that gives you a free movie from the Redbox, like, do you want it ?" 

i of course said back to her "heck yes!"...yeah i got excited, don't judge, haha.

i paid for my items and walked over to the Redbox. While trying to decide what kind of mood i wanted to end my night with, i stumbled across this movie; "Remember Me", i had been wanting to see it for a while and figured, sure why not. It seemed like a interesting dramatic movie about two troubled kids who find each other, find love, you know just another Crazy/Beautiful kind of thing. Well fast foreword, the movie was going well..until we got to the end. Now, sorry if you haven't seen this movie but it ends with death, involving the events from September 11th, 2001. 

Now, yes that day isn't pleasant for anyone, whether you were there or not, its something that whenever talked about will send chills down your spine. Now, it's been a couple of years and i can say that im alright with watching a documentary, movie, TV show about that day without having a complete emotional breakdown. Tears began to run down my face as i felt sad by what i was watching, but it wasn't till a particular scene came up. There is a young girl in the movie who plays the sister, around 11 years old, on that day, it shows her walking out of her school, crying, confused look on her face, but more so a look of worry, not for herself but for others. 

This is where, to say the least, it all went downhill. i began to cry even more now because theres was only one person that came to my mind. My sister, Jean-Michelle Lopez. I cannot sit here and describe in an elegant way how i felt that day, i was scared shitless. Knowing that i might never see her again hadn't really crossed my mind, i knew i was going to, almost as if, i was in denial. I would think the worst but then quickly convinced myself of the best. if that makes any sense. Me and my sister have never had the perfect relationship, man, we fought over everything. Sisters, right. But i love her, as much as i mad her life a living hell sometimes, i love her. 

I remember when i first saw her, covered head to toe, in dust, ashes, anything and everything really. Also scared shitless. I felt so relieved just to hug her and to let her know that i loved her. Now, im not going to go into exact numbers here but i know there were many lives lost that day. I don't consider that as just being the ones that past, but even the ones that were given that chance to stay, many people, like my sister went through really hard times after that, emotionally, physically, psychologically. I am glad to say that my sister is alive and awesome ! i thank my g-d that she was one of the lucky ones. I don't know what my life would've been like if we didn't see each other again but i definitely know that im glad that i never have to figure that out. 

ps: sorry i wasn't trying to make this a sad post, i just wanted to say it, so smiles everyone :) 

and to my sister, you are an amazing person. You have come a long way and you are just continuing to teach me so much, and i thank you for that. I Love You Michi. 

-Lolita.